Gemma's Birth Plan

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Text Box: (plan for a live birth) We have known for a while now that our pre-born baby girl is very ill and not expected to live very long. We have made an informed decision to carry our baby to term and keep her alive and comfortable as long as possible. We have given her the name Gemma Therese. We request that you please refer to her as "Gemma". It is our priority that Gemma be born alive. Our secondary goal is to spend as much time as possible with our little Gemma and to allow her to die a peaceful death, in as private a manner as possible. We would like to be alone, together as a family to enjoy each precious moment of her life that we are blessed with. We may have only seconds or minutes with her alive, but we may also be blessed with hours or days. Whatever we are given, we intend to make the most of it; and, we ask for your help and support in accomplishing that. Some of the things that we think will help us through this difficult time are listed below. We know that circumstances beyond everyone's control may prevent or change some of these things, and at any time Terry (or Courtney) may voice any changes to this plan which would over rule anything that we have written down. This is just an outline of some of our wishes. We would like staff to be informed and aware of the situation. If possible we would like to visit and meet the staff before the delivery In order to maximize the chance of a live birth, we would like Gemma to be delivered by scheduled c-section. Courtney would like an epidural and pain relief. We also want Gemma to be monitored as well as Courtney. We would like the nurses and anesthesiologists to ensure every effort possible that Courtney is comfortable and not in any pain before, during and after delivery. Courtney wants to be awake and alert for the delivery and afterward, with no or as little physical pain as possible. It is imperative that Gemma be baptized. She will be baptized immediately after birth, either before anything else is done, or simultaneously. We will notify the local priest to be present at the delivery in the operating room. It this is not possible, Daddy will do the baptism in the operating room. We would like the doctor or nurse to cut the cord. If we are able to have a priest present, we may ask him to stay for as long as he is able. We would like to "room in" with our baby Gemma. Immediately after birth, Gemma should be assessed, stimulated, resuscitated and bagged if necessary. All alternatives to intubation capable of being performed in the operating room (procedures and medicines) are to be attempted, if necessary, to get Gemma breathing on her own. If Gemma is still unable to breath on her own after these alternatives have been attempted, Terry will decide whether Gemma is to be intubated. If Gemma is to be intubated, we would like if at all possible for her to be moved to a private room with Courtney so that she can meet her siblings and family. Please quickly cover her Omphalocele with a warm, moist sterile dressing. If she survives for more than a day or two, we do not want this to lead to her demise. Since we don't know how long Gemma will live, we want to spend as much time as possible after delivery and delay any unnecessary procedures (eye ointment, shots etc.) that can be put off until later. We request that the nurses wipe Gemma clean, put a diaper on, and wrap her in a blanket provided by her parents. We request that you put a hat on her head provided by her parents. If possible, Terry would like to help with this. Gemma is then is to be immediately handed to Mom/Dad depending on the circumstances. If a nurse or technician could take pictures at this time, we would appreciate it. We will provide a camera to take pictures of our sweet Gemma. We will try to have a friend help us with photos (as we want as many pictures as possible), but if she is unable to make it we would like a nurse of staff member to stay in the room with us and help us take as many pictures as possible of our baby girl. We would like a social worker, nurse or staff member to give updates to family and friends waiting. When Gemma is born, we ask that her picture be shown to waiting family members and friends. If Gemma is not alive at this time, we ask that a nurse or social worker/ case manager etc., explain to awaiting family that we have given birth to a beautiful baby girl and although she has gone to heaven, we would like very much for them to meet her. We realize that Courtney will be recovering from surgery and will need to be monitored closely. However, we would like every effort made for Terry, Courtney and Gemma to be together in the same room at all times with as much privacy as possible. Our baby may die (or have already passed) and we want to be together as a family away from other patients. If at all possible, we would like to stay in the operating room as long as possible, than moved directly to a private room. Terry would like to hold Gemma at all times and will be sure to give the doctors and nurses room to treat Courtney. Once Courtney is stable, she would like to hold Gemma. Courtney would like to be moved to a private room away from other newborns. When we make the request please invite our family members into the room. After family members leave we would like to bathe our daughter and would like help from a nurse. (please take pictures!!!) Once Terry makes the request, we would like to be presented with a DNR. We would like to be alone with our daughter when she passes, unless request for a nurse to be present. Terry would like the option of spending the night with Courtney in her room. If Gemma survives for longer than expected, we would like assistance in finding a way to give her fluid and nourishment. If Gemma requires or we request any procedures that can only be accomplished outside of Courtney's room, Terry will like to accompany Gemma at all times, and we would then like for Gemma to return to Courtney's room. If it is possible, we are looking into Hospice to take Gemma home. This depends on her condition and health issues. If Gemma does not die during our hospital stay, please give us advice on how to feed her and care for her Omphalocele (with dressings etc.). We would really appreciate your follow up care, if we are fortunate enough to take Gemma home with us. If she dies, we want some time, however long we decide to be together as a family alone. If we desire, our family should be allowed into the room to hold her regardless of age. We would like to bathe/dress our baby Gemma after she passes. We would like a nurse or staff member to please help us in creating hand and feet moldings, we will provide materials, but may need water, something to mix with, and a plastic container. When we are ready, please call Bonita Funeral Home. We would like birth certificate, Social Security forms, and death certificate if necessary, to be completed and processed. Terry will assist in filling out information. Thank you for sharing the life and death of our precious baby girl, Gemma Therese Holihen. We appreciate you kindness and compassion and all of your help during difficult time. We realize that this may be difficult for you as well and are truly grateful for helping us in creating memories of our baby girl. May God bless you. Things we would like to keep to help us remember our little Gemma… Bassinet Card Hats Baby Blanket a diaper (the same kind and size she wore) Photographs (please help us to take pictures) Hand and foot prints Hand and foot molds (we have kits with us) Lock of hair Hospital bracelets (plan for a still birth) We have known for a while now that our pre-born baby girl is very ill and not expected to live very long and has a high probability of dieing in utero. We have made an informed decision to carry our baby to term and keep her as long as possible. We have given her the name Gemma Therese. We request that you please refer to her as "Gemma". Please honor our request to preserve the dignity of sweet Gemma's special life. Although she is no longer alive, she lived within Courtney and is a part of our family, please treat her as such. Some of the things that we think will help us through this difficult time are listed below. We would like staff to be informed and aware of the situation. If possible we would like to visit and meet the staff before the delivery. Courtney will deliver vaginally if Gemma has already passed, unless Courtney's life is at all in danger. Courtney should be offered an epidural along with any other pain medications approved by the doctor. We would like the doctor to cut the cord. We would like our doctor to do a complete episiotomy at the appropriate time if there is any struggle pushing Gemma out. (The previous episiotomy did not heal properly.) We request that Gemma be cleaned off and raped in a blanket that we have provided. If she has any abnormalities on her forehead or scull we ask that the nurses put a hat that we have provided on her head before handing her to us. If a nurse or technician could take pictures at this time, we would appreciate it. We will provide a digital camera to take a picture of our little Gemma. Once Courtney is doing well, we would like to be left alone and the nurse to let family members in the room once we make the request. Terry will have the option of spending the night with Courtney in her room. We want some time, however long we decide, to be together as a family alone. We would like to bathe and dress our little Gemma. We may request assistance from a nurse in bathing/dressing and making imprints of her hands and feet. Please feel free to cry with us and share the joy and sadness of our little girl's life and death. If at all possible, we would like to be alone, away from other newborns before and after Gemma's birth. Things we would like to keep to help us remember our little Gemma… Bassinet Card Hats Baby Blanket a diaper (the same kind and size she wore) Photographs (please help us to take pictures) Hand and foot prints Hand and foot molds (we have kits with us) Lock of hair